Results of My Winter Break part1

I've taken some photos of things that make me happy. 

For example, the little Christmas tree in my apartment.

Kudos to Lauren for bringing it.

bright lights make me joyful.

I spent some time baking. Baking things that did not turn out as expected.
.

Do not use milk chocolate when making buckeyes, it is too thick! Lesson Learned.  

I call this the buckeye mess, goes well with our team this year. 

I was able to spend time with my wonderful sister.

Yes, she is wearing swimming goggles while preparing dinner. 

Which I thought was absolutely hilarious.

 I pulled an all nighter baking some treats for some church family.
 (I had way more treats, just didn't take pictures.)

so yummy.

The buckeyes that actually look like buckeyes.

Yep, that's basically my winter break so far. Oh and I've done a ridiculous amount of reading. 
But no need for pictures of that.

 I hope everyone is having a wonderful December so far! Let's celebrate the birth of our Savior with praise and thankfulness!

                                                      Results of Winter Break part2 coming soon to theaters near you

Running In Circles

Life can be so formidable.

It can also be uncontrollable. Things happen when you don't want them to and there's nothing you can possibly do to stop them. In the moment it seems terrifying. Then time goes by, and the awfulness, doesn't seem as awful as it once was. Life continues.

But that doesn't change the effect it has on you. Situations, people, things, they change you forever. I am constantly learning day by day, never knowing what may be next. 

Once upon a time, I thought I had it all figured out. What I would do with my life, oh, the things I would accomplish. But feelings change, thoughts grow and emotions fade. Things I once desired, I no longer do. Things that didn't really matter, I now cling to. My thoughts and emotions constantly change. I sin and take pleasure in sin. I am human. 

When God changed my heart it didn't mean that I would live a perfect life. It just meant that I would have to cling and trust in him for every little detail in my messed up life. It meant that I would constantly be repenting from sins, sins He already knew I would commit. Continually praying for Him to change my heart and to make it more like His. Praising and thanking Him, even when everything seems like it's falling apart. Loving Him and out of that love, obeying Him. And trusting that through the trials and pain, He has everything planned in His perfect will, in His perfect timing.

So as my messy life continues, I will continually cling and trust in Him. 

Jesus is the only one that brings me happiness. 

Why would I keep running in circles when it's been Him all along. He is my reason for life.

thankfulness

1. I am thankful for the beautiful church family God has placed in my life.
2. I am thankful for Christ giving me a new heart, not because of anything I did, but because of grace.
3. I am thankful that salvation does not come from me, but from God alone.
4. I am thankful that God in unfailing, always faithful and true.
5. I am thankful for God’s creativity when creating this earth and the things among it.
6. I am thankful for Jesus dying on the cross to cleanse me of my sin and credit me with His righteousness.
7.  I am thankful that The Spirit is dwelling inside me, convicting me and moving me.
8.  I am thankful for The Trinity.
9.  I am thankful for God’s Holy Scriptures.
10.  I am thankful that God is so forgiving and loving, even though I’m so unworthy.
11.  I am thankful for God raising me from the dead and making me set apart from the world.
12.  I am thankful for God’s presence, the comfort and excitement that He continually brings.
13.  I am thankful for my family.
14.  I am thankful for art.
15.  I am thankful for creation, the universe and the things unknown that reveal God’s glory.
16.  I am thankful for God being rich in mercy and just in His wrath.
17.  I am thankful for my brother and sisters in Christ.
18.  I am thankful for unbelievers and that God can use me to evangelize to them.
19.  I am thankful for hugs.
20.  I am thankful for children, their innocence and their simplicity.
21.  I am thankful for every ability that I am blessed with, abilities that some people may not have.
22.  I am thankful that God constantly reveals new and glorious things about Himself to me.
23.  I am thankful for everything in the past, present and future.
24.  I am thankful for God’s perfect will.
25.  I am thankful for Theology books and other useful resources.
26.  I am thankful for breath and life.
27.  I am thankful for the excitement I feel, knowing that I will one day worship God face to face.
28.  I am thankful that Jesus humbly became human, served and lived a perfect life.
29.  I am thankful for prayer.
30.  I am thankful that God answers prayer.
31.  I am thankful for God’s perfect timing.
32.  I am thankful for teachers who speak biblical truth, without fearing man.
33.  I am thankful that God is loving, yet I fear him.
34.  I am thankful for the warmth of the sun and the coldness of winter.
35.  I am thankful for music.
36.  I am thankful that God is continually changing me and making me new.
37.  I am thankful for struggles and trials that I have faced and ones that I am going to face.
38.  I am thankful for those willing to go out to the nations and speak the gospel, even knowing that they may be facing death.
39.  I am thankful for chocolate and diet coke. 
40.  I am thankful that God has revealed himself to mankind through His creation.
41.  I am thankful for love and marriage.
42.  I am thankful that God never changes.
43.  I am thankful that God is faithful to fulfill his promises.
44.  I am thankful for suffering and God using any pain to make me closer to Him.
45.  I am thankful for the many colors that God has created.
46.  I am thankful for rain and the renewal it brings.
47.  I am thankful for emotions and knowledge.
48.  I am thankful for the many things that God has blessed me with.
49.  I am thankful for repentance.
50.  I am thankful that God is omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient and sovereign above all things.

state of repentance

"What is repentance? It is turning from the sins you love to the holy God you're called to love. It is admitting that you're not God. It is beginning to value Jesus more than you value your immediate pleasure. It is giving up those things the Bible calls sin and leaving them to follow Jesus." - Mark Dever

Let me tell you a little story, hopefully this encourages you, as it has me.
A few weeks ago a wonderful believing friend of mine confessed sin to me that she has been struggling with. She was confessing not only have me hold her accountable, but also to repent. I was amazed. I myself have way too much pride and arrogance to confess sin to anyone that I know. I would be far too ashamed or worried of what they might think. How sinful of me to think this way! Brothers and Sisters in Christ are placed in your life to walk in faith beside you, to support you, rebuke you and love you.

This past month has been a complete battle and as new temptations continue to rise, my flesh and spirit are constantly at war. To be honest, for the longest time it felt like my flesh was winning. Recently I have struggled with sin and throughout that period of time I kept thinking to myself, you can change, you just have to set your mind to it. 
How silly I am for thinking that I could change myself!
The only way that any change could arise in me is if I am completely trusting and relying upon God to change my heart. During my many times of sinning, I have become aware of the fact that I am sinning against a Holy God. A God that gives me grace and new mercies everyday. How undeserving I am.

The Bible speaks so frequently about our need for repentance everyday. If you read Psalm 51 David shows a great example of true repentance. He is heartbroken because he has offended a Holy God. David's prayer in Psalm 51 is now a prayer that I am praying daily.

""Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment."

In closing, I just want to thank my friend for being a light in my life. For confessing and encouraging me to confess my sins also. I am blessed to have you in my life and I am enlightened by your love for Christ.

beautiful thoughts

A thought has surfaced tonight, a beautiful thought.
You see I believe in God’s complete sovereignty, I believe that He is foreknowing and omnificent. Now I could sit here and tell you that I know all about God’s love, but I couldn’t tell you that I have really searched to understand what exactly that means.
So honestly do I really know about God’s love? Right now I am just going to share some thoughts running through my brain, some beautiful thoughts.

• God knew me before I drew one single breath.
• He knew how many hairs He would place on my head and He knew the exact number of freckles that would be placed on my nose, even before He created me.
• He knew me and still knows me, every little detail, inside and out.
• He knew that I would turn from him, that I would be sinful, and that he would send his son to be propitiation for my sins, yet He still loved me before He created me.
• God knew that my flesh would fail. But He created me anyway. 
• God fully knew that He would create a sinful human that would turn from him, disobey him, run from him and be the reason why Jesus was on that cross. Yet He calls me his beloved.

This kind of love is remarkable and marvelous. I feel so much joy when these thoughts come into my mind. I’m just constantly reminded of how unworthy I am, and it amazes me that God knowing all of this would still create and love me nonetheless.
How beautiful and magnificent our God is.

divine nature

None of these pictures were taken by me, I stumbled upon them. But they certainly are beautiful.

Song of Solomon  6:10 - "Who is this who looks down like the dawn, beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun, awesome as an army with banners?"

Hebrews 1:3 -  He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high.

Job 35:32 - He covers his hands with the lightning and commands it to strike the mark. 

Ezekiel 17:24 And all the trees of the field shall know that I am the LORD; I bring low the high tree, and make high the low tree, dry up the green tree, and make the dry tree flourish. I am the LORD; I have spoken, and I will do it."

Psalm 19:1 -The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.

For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. - ROMANS 1:20

Thoughts On Sunday

A pretty exciting thought has been floating around in my head all day and as I was reading tonight, it came across my mind again. But this time I was so excited that I had to share it.

 These past few months my church Cornerstone has been going through 1st Corinthians. As we continue to read and Tony Hall continues to preach each Sunday, I get the notion that I am enjoying this book more than what I ever have before. But the scripture that was so astounding to me this morning was…

1st Corinthians 2:9-12

But, as it is written, "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him"--these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God.

I am completely astonished. The same Spirit that searches and understands the depths of The One and Only God, The God of the Universe, is dwelling inside of me? How undeserving and unworthy I am, yet I am loved by a Holy God. A God that ordained His Son to die on a cross, to credit me with His righteousness and He still doesn't stop there. God knew that my flesh would fail, so He gave me His Spirit to convict and move me. Now that I have received that Spirit I want to do nothing more but obey and wholly surrender to it.

"I want nothing more than to live in total surrender and abandonment to the Spirit every moment I have left on this earth... I don't want my life to be explainable apart from the Spirit" 
-Francis Chan

I WILL RUN

HELLO THERE!
For those who have been reading this blog, I really appreciate it. Although I haven't got a lot of feedback(which you should do so, because I would love to hear your comments) I still enjoy looking at the stats and seeing how many people read my blog daily. So thank you, I hope you get as much pleasure reading the posts, as I do writing them. However, this post is going to be a tad bit different. 


BIG NEWS: Just a few minutes ago I signed up for a Half Marathon in Chicago! Yes, I know, me running a half marathon? WHAT IN THE WORLD?! 


But the more I prayed about it the more I knew that it was something God has called me to do. It is for a wonderful organization called As Our Own (click for info) who help women out of their difficult lifestyles in the sex trafficking industry. It really is a great organization changing the lives of women in India and maybe even changing the lives of those running for them. For the past month I've been reading these girls life stories and the more I read, the more inclined I felt to do something to help change their lives. That is why I am dedicated to run. 


But I can't just do it by myself, I need to raise support to help these women. So this is just an opportunity for you to get involved also, even if it is just by donating a dollar. Just imagine, I have 587 facebook friends, if everyone donated one dollar, that would help me get to my individual goal of $750.00 So please, if you feel as inclined to help as I did, then do it! But most importantly I just want you to pray for  these women. Pray that God would be the center of their lives and that He would completely change their lives for His glory. 


Thanks for reading, if you'd like to donate click here!

ACTS 20:35 In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' Galatians 6:2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

overwhelmed is an understatement

Ask yourself the question below. Don’t just read the question then continue to read the rest of this post, but seriously ask yourself this and examine your heart.


If you claim to be a Christian, how are you different than a non believer? Other than the fact that you believe that a God exists and maybe you sometimes pray, how else are you different?


Years ago when I asked myself that question, I couldn’t think of anything else that would set me apart from those who do not know Him. Until Christ changed me. I was dead in sin, but He raised me up and made me new. He regenerated my heart, gave me surpassing joy and now I am forever changed. This post is going to be real short and straight to the point. If you can’t think of anything else that makes you different, then pray earnestly, search your heart and ask God to search your heart as well. You do not want to be like the Pharisee’s who claimed to know God, yet when He sent his son like He promised they crucified Him. They were "religious people" and still they were blind. So don’t be religious, instead be a follower of Christ. Let your whole life revolve around Christ. Be gospel centered and fall in love with THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. 


Switching gears here:
Today I am just overwhelmed with joy. I cannot even comprehend just how beautiful God is. Every time I think I am somewhat close to understanding the goodness of God, He shows me a whole new view and I am taken back by His power, glory and love. 


So this is what falling in love over and over again feels like...

whenever you feel distant

“WHENEVER YOU FEEL DISTANT from Me, whisper My Name in loving trust. This simple prayer can restore your awareness of My Presence…The grating rancor of the world’s blasphemies cannot compete with a trusting child’s utterance: “Jesus” - Sarah Young


 Jesus. How humble I become when I think about Him or say His name. His presence is sweet and brings unspeakable joy to my soul. If only I thought about him this way every time I prayed, how significantly different my life would be. Often times I find myself rushing into words and I do not truly talk nor listen to God during prayer. I get so distracted and focus on other things that are so much less important.


BUT HE IS GOD. I don’t think I will ever comprehend how blessed I am that I get to spend time with Him daily. All I know is that I want to embrace Him and be thankful that I get to have this relationship with a perfect God, who calls me his beloved.  When I feel unfocused or unaware of his presence I just say his name and I become surrounded in that sweet presence only He can provide. 

love & love songs

A rant about love songs.

This week I have discovered a whole new era of love songs and they come from the master himself Ron Pope. 

His voice, lyrics and melodies will make you swoon. 

do you want an example? well then, click here.

And for an even better example, click again.

Now don't get me wrong I think love songs are great, especially when your married or dating someone you plan on marrying. Most likely they make you think about your loved one and you become all giddy listening to the lyrics.

However, if you are single (as I am) they kinda just make you want someone to feel giddy about.

Now before I continue this rant I want to make it known to the readers that I feel happy with the decision I've made being fully aware I am not ready to date for a very long time.

I have come to terms with the fact that I need to mature my relationship with Christ before I even think about dating. But these love songs certainly do not help that decision. So why is it that a simple love song can bring these emotions of affection?

 Because people love love, it's that simple. People love thinking, singing, wishing and dreaming about love.

 In fact, most people are obsessed with it.

But the thing I've come to realize this past week is that God invented love, He is love. Ron Pope is not the master (although his voice is amazing) of love, God is.

When I sing love songs about God, I get that same giddy feeling. Most of the time it ends up overwhelming me and I have to remind myself to inhale. But to me that is worship, singing love songs to the one I love. So why is it that people spend their whole life searching for love, instead of searching for the one who invented it? 

Just think about it...

In the meantime, i'm going to go listen to Phil Wickham and get all giddy for Christ.

If you'd like to join me click here.

One Year Older, One Year Wiser?

Today is my birthday and earlier while I was celebrating I was thinking about all the things that have changed in my life this past year and how much God has changed my heart. This past year has been a season of growth and renewal. And I am thankful that God’s grace surrounds me, if it weren’t for Him I would be broken and lost. I am so thankful for his presence in my life, I cannot even put it into words. It is simply indefinable.


Okay, now it is story time.


After church today I went out to lunch with the usual Cornerstone crew and as a dear friend Lance prayed over our food, he also prayed for me. Although he prayed for multiple things, what really stuck out in my mind was his prayer that I would be more intimate with Christ and also that I would be a light to everyone on campus.


Now he doesn’t know this, but that has been my prayer for the last three months for myself. Falling in love with Christ is a beautiful thing, but this summer I haven’t felt that zeal that I once felt. I’ve been praying constantly for God to renew that love and to make it grow stronger than ever. Slowly but surely he has done that and I have felt joy like never before. I have also prayed many times that anyone who would come into contact with me this school year would see God’s presence and work in my life. That I would be bold and share the gospel with those around me. I am trusting Him and I know that things will work out to God’s perfect will, He makes all things work together for the good of those who love him. The only thing that is left for me to do is devote my whole life to Christ. He is so worth it.


These past 19 years have been interesting and it has been made clear to me that the best moments that I have had in this short life, are the moments when i'm focused completely on Christ.

Below are some pictures to show how I spent my birthday, feel free to leave feedback!

how I spent my birthday

the amazing ice cream cake

ashley and scotty, thanks for everything!

feeling creative

just some chicken scratches

half of the time i dont even know what im painting

water color paint splatters

the editing made the picture look better than what it really is

the only one i really kinda like

this is a painting i finished today that matches my comforter

lets just say im a hard worker

Simple Pleasures

     My life is quite simple. I enjoy the things below.

I enjoy the bible, I find pleasure and joy in reading God's word. The more I read the more I love him.

I enjoy Diet Coke and when I say enjoy I mean LOVE. However, I am considering running a 1/2 Marathon, so sadly I am going to quit drinking it. You will be missed my friend.

I enjoy shoes, look into my closet and you will see evidence of this guilty pleasure.

I enjoy unhealthy things, like ice cream. No matter what time of day it is, I will always want Ice Cream.

I enjoy painting. I use to do it in high school quite a bit, but I stopped for some unknown reason. Now I have picked it up again and it is so relaxing. Recently I have started painting pictures for my new apartment and I am looking forward to see how my paintings look hung up on a wall.

(Photo Credit to Tom Huling)

(Photo Credit to Tom Huling)

Lastly, God's creation. He is a creative designer. There are never ending "awe" moments in my days where I just look outside and am amazed at how beautiful His creation is. 

This Is Me. 

See, I told you my life was simple.

Friendships

Recently my thoughts have been focused on friendship and what a Godly relationship with someone looks like. I've thought a lot about my brothers and sisters in Christ. I’m aware that God has placed them in my life for different purposes and I am so thankful to Him for leading me to them. I truly treasure each and everyone of their friendships. I grew up in a very small town where being a Christian is basically just claiming the “title.” I was one of those people. Yes, sometimes I prayed and I believed that God existed, but I did not truly know who God was and what a relationship with him looked like. Until God completely changed me. He gave me a new life and a new heart and I fell completely in love with Him. But it was still hard, I was finishing up high school with friendships that weren't Godly and I was not yet grounded in my faith. Which led me to sinful temptations and mistakes. I remember back then thinking and praying for a support group, a group of believers who would hold me accountable. Then I went to college…


I made so many friendships through Campus Crusade for Christ and also just by God leading me to people, I was amazed. I went to a smaller college and I did not know one single person, yet I developed friendships that I know will last forever. I gained brothers and sisters in Christ who I fellowship and worship with. People who aren’t afraid to step up and hold me accountable for my sins. I am so grateful to God for making beautiful hearts and placing them in these people who are apart of my life. It is still so unreal to me. I’ve always dreamt of friends, people that I could just pray and read The Bible with and I now have that.


What really made me think about this was a camping trip I went on not too long ago. It started out a little rough, considering the fact that we were all first time campers. But we were trusting in God for safety and comfort. Unsurprisingly God worked out everything wonderfully. We ended up having a beautiful night where we prayed, read the bible, talked about life and how God was moving. I can honestly say that it was a night that will remain on the Top Ten Best Nights Of My Life list. Being there with fellow believers just led me to rest in His glorious presence and I am still in awe at how wonderful God really is. Since the trip God has placed great thankfulness and joy in my heart for my brothers and sisters in Christ. I would just like encourage   you that if you are not surrounded by believers or in a church body, reach out and start making friendships. They are completely necessary for your faith and you will be blessed tremendously. 


I am blessed and it is all for His glory.




Colossians 3: 12-15 
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

Philippians 1:27

In the beginning of the year I attended Passion 2011 in Atlanta Georgia, it was an amazing conference and I recommend everyone to go to it. But today I sat down and listened to a sermon Francis Chan preached at Passion. It was so awesome, honest and convicting. Francis read Philippians 1:27 and it got me thinking about how my life is suppose to resemble Christ’s life. If I had to ask myself that very question, “Does my life resemble Christ’s?” Would I be able to say “Yes. It does.”

 Philippians 1:27 Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel.

Now if you really think about it can you honestly say “Yes, my life matches up to the gospel.” I don’t think I would be being honest if I said mine did exactly. Because if I truly believed in the gospel then I believe that there is a hell. A place full of nothing but suffering and destruction. Why in the world would I want the ones that I claim I care about to go there. If I honestly care for my friends and family who are not believers, wouldn’t I be out there trying to tell them of God’s amazing love and grace to save them from the place of torture. If I am truly in love with Jesus like I say I am, then wouldn't I want to do nothing in my life but glorify, honor and worship him. Just to make his name known to the world. 

 Sometimes I feel like I get content with my relationship with Christ, which is something none of us should ever want to feel. If I want my life to look like Christs I shouldn't be afraid to speak the gospel. Even if I am persecuted, rejected and hated I would know that I received those things for Christ‘s name and my life would start to look more like Christ’s. One thing we must remember is that Jesus was beaten, tortured, mocked and murdered. Even though he went city to city performing miracles and helping people, in the end he didn't receive love from all, instead he received death. Being a follower of Christ I should expect to suffer and I should be happy to, because If I do I’m becoming more Christ like, I should rejoice in that. 

I want my life to change so drastically, I want my life to match up to the gospel. I no longer care if I am rejected or disliked, If I can help anyone experience God’s goodness, love and mercy then it’s worth it. I want everyone to know what it feels like to fall in love with God, the creator of universe. It is the most amazing feeling in the world. In America 76% of people identify themselves as Christians. But what we don’t realize is that in other countries such as China and India people are being killed if they claim to be Christian. They lose their family, their homes, they risk so much and yet they continue to live for him even when they are losing everything. If you were to risk losing your possessions, your friends, family and your life would you still claim that you are a Christian or would you deny that “title.” I hope that you would cling to Christ, I pray that you wouldn’t deny him. Because He is the only one who can fulfill you, He is the one who gives you life. But some of you may doubt that you would still claim Him and that is exactly why I am writing this note. Like I said I want everyone to fall in love with Christ, I’ve completely given my life to Christ and I’ve never felt more peace and happiness in my life. I've heard in scripture and in songs the phrase “Lose your life just so you can find it.” and I never understood what that meant, until about year and a half ago. I’ve found my life finally and now I just want my friends, my family and everyone to find their lives also.

Sorry this note took longer than expected, but I just want lives to start changing including my own. I want to make God’s name famous to the nations, even if I risk everything or lose it all.

Jesus is worth it.