Being fully known, yet loved.

The tingling sensation of being ever so transparent by showing the depths of your heart, while inclining your ear to The One whom you love. An ineffaceable lasting sensation, indeed.

Some days I truly believe that I know myself, then there are the moments that I am made fully aware that I do not know the depths of my heart at all. The parts of my past self that I tend to keep in hiding, fearful that once shown abandonment may occur. Ashamed, for all the wrong reasons continually omitting the truth that I am a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). Yet, in the midst of this contemplation, recognizing that the sin, shame and attempt of concealment fails me. 

Because He knows me.

God knows the depths of my sinful heart (Psalm 44:21), yet He loves me as though I am holy and blameless in His sight (Colossians 1:22). As my thoughts ponder this sentiment, my heart is joyful. 

 To those who are in Christ, our response to this should be unrestrained joy, and happiness expressed without inhibitions. We ought to praise and thank God unceasingly, turn from sin daily and repent in elation that God does not love us as we deserve.

"To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us." - Tim Keller

consenting selfishness.

Selfishness

a topic that has at first angered me, then suddenly deeply saddened my heart. Let me tell you why.

Being in college and a 20 something girl I hear the same advice given time and time again  

"You're young and in college, be selfish, right now is your time to be selfish!"

Really? Be selfish?

Most likely when I hear this being said, it's from one girl to another. First, I just want to address that if you are even asking for advice because you're in some sort of situation, the problem most likely started because you were already being selfish. So starting with your natural selfishness, having a problem occur because of your selfishness does not mean that a solution will evolve out of more selfishness. That's incredibly ridiculous, you cannot solve a problem by using the same methods that started the problem. If you want to change a certain circumstance or fix a problem, try loving people. 

When we live life for ourselves and live to please our own needs we end up feeling unsatisfied, unwanted and empty. Selfishness will not fill that empty abyss that is your heart. However, if you love others, seek good for others and put them before yourself, well now that is a life that makes sense. 

Of course it all comes down to the condition of a heart. You cannot formulate love in your heart on your own, even if you do manage to do that it is certainly not a love that lasts. We need God to break our hearts of stone, give us hearts of flesh because He loves us and out of that love, we are able to love others. 

May we pray that God would rid any selfishness in our hearts and that we would live as we are called, in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.

(1 John 4:9, John 13:34-35)

Even the midst of silence, pray.

Prayer.

A topic that I have been longing to write about, but have neglected to do so due to my lack of passionate prayer. In the past few months I have dealt with much spiritual struggle, and the one thing that I have tried to be passionate about is prayer. Throughout this time not only do my own efforts and strength fall short, but I too fall short in every single way possible.

I have had times where I have prayed in obedience to the Lord, even though I may have felt empty. And I have had sweet times of intimacy with the Lord during prayer. But it's always the darker times that we focus on, rather than the light. And it's always the times of silence that bring about doubt and worry.

What I have been asking myself and what I am asking you now is...

do we pray like we ought to? 

Do we pray with expectancy that God is going to answer, not with a yes, but just an answer? And when He doesn't answer and there is silence, do we pray less or pray more? Do we pray in faith?

From my experience and knowing my heart the little that I do, I know that I get frustrated. Not only frustrated, but weary. Praying and yet not feeling like anything is happening or that God is even listening leaves you feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled. You're left feeling like the Lord is not present or is uncaring in the midst of joy or pain. These are fleshly earthly feelings, and certainly not based off of truth.

In the times of rejoicing and in the times of mourning, God is there, He is listening and He truly cares. He never falls short or views you as someone unworthy to be heard. If you are in Christ you have Jesus, whom is God, interceding on your behalf, pleading with God The Father for you. How dare we ever think that the Lord doesn't care or isn't present in seeking Him. His love does not fall short like we do so often.

But are we praying with all of our hearts in faith? Do we pray with expectancy knowing that God is faithful to fulfill His promises? Are we earnestly pleading and seeking after the Lord in our prayers, or are we just saying words to pass the time? Are we simply giving God a list of demands or are we surrendering all and praying that the Lords will would be done, whatever it may be?

Prayer is not a set of empty words, but a cry of recognition and of love to our Father, whether embracing suffering or joy. 

Seek after the Lord in prayer, recognizing that only He can satisfy. We are called to be unceasing in our prayers, even through the silence, through the presence that He gives and through the chaos and confusion of fleshly feelings, knowing that God is faithful in His nature and loving to His children. Rest in His promises and the fulfillment of satisfaction that He alone gives.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 :: Psalm 66:17 :: 1 Corinthians 14:15

Pray, pray and pray. Then repeat.

a burdened heart

God has answered my prayer, yet in the midst of praising the Lord for this, 
my heart has been broken.

My prayer for this past week was that God would burden my heart specifically for something. Although I was unaware of what exactly that something would be, I continued to pray earnestly. And God has graciously answered that prayer in remarkable ways.

My heart has been burdened for sex-trafficking victims. My heart is in deep anguish over these girls that are deceived, abused, coerced, enslaved and sexually used by their masters who have forcefully taken them to become sex slaves. I cannot even fathom the depths of how these women must feel useless, unclean, unworthy, captive, and yet I too once felt this way. I was walking in the ways of the world, blinded, yet fully aware of the bondage and captivity that enslaved me.

  But God being rich in mercy looked down in love and gifted me with grace. (Ephesians 2:4-5)

In the midst of my bondage and captivity God broke the chains and set me free. I was called to freedom so that I too may bring about freedom to others by the grace of God. May we pray for the heart and mind of Christ. May He continue to break and burden our hearts so that we too may feel the weight of this evil. All for His name sake, so that they too may know the love of a perfect master that cares, a master that they can take refuge in.

As I continue in this journey I will continually update about the steps that you and I can take to end slavery in this generation.

If you would also like to partake in setting these captives free please sign the pledge at enditmovement.com