Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ,
so that whether I come and see you or am absent,
I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit,
with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Thoughts freeflowing

Psalm 73:25-26
Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Recently I have been going through a period of confusion and as I was reading today, this scripture hit me like a ton of bricks. The more that I have meditated on what this verse truly means, the more knowledge I gain of who Christ is, what he has done and what that means for me. My thoughts instantly turn to think about how this verse pertains to my life and how God is actively moving all the time.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
- I have noticed quite a bit lately how I continually seek to find my fulfillment and pleasure in things that are of this earth, things that will soon perish and fade away. After chasing these things, I am not satisfied, but I am empty. So why do I continually pursue perishable things? Because I am human and I always feel like I need more and more. I so often forget that I have been saved by Jesus, a completely sovereign and powerful God who calls me His. I constantly try to add things to Jesus, which is completely and utterly ridiculous. All I need for satisfaction is Jesus, that's enough, nothing needs to be added or taken away, I just need Jesus. It's really quite simple.

And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
- Oh how I wish I could say that with all honesty, but my heart is far from it. I want Jesus to be my all in all, but it seems I lack the love for this desire. My prayer for the last few months is that my desire for the Lord would increase immensely. If I pursue Jesus and live with this verse engraved in my heart, Jesus will be my only desire. I am striving by the strength of God that I will no longer stray or be tempted, but my focus will be completely on Jesus. I will run to Jesus with my focus being an imperishable eternity with a everlasting God.

My flesh and my heart may fail.
- This verse is so true. This week as I was reflecting over who I am and who God has called me to be, I have come to the conclusion that I try to fix myself. I search for answers and solutions to change myself, fully knowing that I am unable to do so. I need to be dependent upon God for everything. He will always come through, I on the other hand will always fail when I try to lead myself. God is continually teaching this to me and I am finally starting to grasp what it means to live a life completely dependent on Christ for all things.

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
- God provides strength and deserves all the glory. God has lavished me with strength, grace and mercy everyday, although I am not worthy. I have started to realize how broken and messed up I really am when I am not fully dependent upon Christ and not pursuing him. My heart wanders which causes my mind to be filled with unwanted, sinful, fleshly things. But he alone is my portion forever, and the strength of my heart. His praise will be unending and my hope is to glorify Him.

This verse has really tore at my heart and I am anxiously waiting for the day that I can truly say wholeheartedly that I desire nothing besides Jesus due to the strength that He has provided and that He is truly is my portion forever.

Regardless of my flesh and heart failing, I have nothing but Him, He who is enough.